Sometimes it's hard to think independently. Especially when one of the more smooth-tongued of "The Colossal Heads" is wooing you toward conformity. Robert Joyner starts out thinking for himself, but doesn't end up that way. Maybe with one of these buttons or t-shirts he could have stayed strong. To change the colors of this button and/or have it shipped to you click here. For the t-shirt click here.
No one is going to have any idea what this button is about. But that's why they'll ask you about it. You can tell them to read "Magnanimous Proceedings from a Deadly Sport" and then call you. When they call, ask: "So who are you rooting for?" If they don't say Jancie, we hereby charge you, in the name of all that's right and good, to never speak to them again as long as you live. Click here to root for Jancie by shipping his button. Click here to add Jancie to your wardrobe.
Anyone who chooses to wash dishes instead of make 100k in advertising is definitely subversive. Our hero. Get the button, or t-shirt, or both, by clicking here. The color's your choice. So is whether you add one of John's stories to the back of the shirt.
This is the only slogan we're also thinking about putting on a coffee mug. We're hoping that if we put it on a mug some stressed out worker will buy it and give it to their boss for exploiter-appreciation day. Not all bosses are exploiters, but if yours is, you could drink from the mug, see, and your boss wouldn't even know you were comparing him to Goba in "The Brown Bag." Alas, no mugs yet. Until then though you can wear this button defiantly, and even change its colors to match your fast-food uniform, or Wall Street suit. To do so, or have it shipped, click here. To magically turn the button into a t-shirt click here.
This one's all about the word. Bazooka. What a word. Bazooka. Everyone should have a bazooka button. You don't even have to explain it. Bazooka. What's there to explain? Bazooka says it all. "Gifts for Colombia" has a little more detail if your interested in what the word has to do with this website. Bazooka. Change the colors of your bazooka and/or have it shipped by clicking here. Bazooka. And don't forget your t-shirt. Bazooka.
Besides the fact this slogan comes directly from the story "The Hand of the Rose," we also made this button because no one knows what the hell that story means. And John won't tell us. In fact, if you've got some idea on this score, we'd appreciate a little enlightenment. Regardless, it's a whopping phrase for a button. So click here to change this button's color and/or have it shipped. Or click here to wear its mystery on your chest.
If you were about to fall off the edge of the world you would use lots of exclamations points, too! What are we talking about?! Believe us! "The Man Who Fell Off the Edge of the World" would be glad to explain! Get his button before he's going! going! gone! Changes its colors, too! Click! here! for! the! button! Click! here! for! the! t-shirt!
To escape our zoo keepers all we have to do is be like the shrews and the birds. That's what "Revolt of the Zoo Animals" demonstrates. But, "Go, Shrew, Go" doesn't make a good button. So we gave Gorilla a last hurrah. You can read his first hurrah in the story. And you can be a part of his last hurrah by clicking here and having his button shipped to you. He won't mind if you change its colors. Oh yeah, we also made a timid little button out of the title. Click here for that one. For the t-shirts click the images of the, uh, t-shirts.
Never trust big talkers. For example, do you really want to go look at that very dangerous extraterrestrial bug that Adam keeps talking about? Reginald got sucked into his friend's bragging and paid the price. Why do the innocents always face "The Anthropods" while the blow hards stand around saying "Just stay calm?" Why? I'll tell you why. Because they don't have this button to remind them not to do so. Remind yourself and/or change this button's colors and/or ship this button to your curious ass by clicking here. The t-shirt might remind you, too.
And, yes, you can even be subversive about being subversive, which turns out to be very popular for some reason. Choose your color and have it shipped here.
John Dishwasher
Subversive Little Buttons