Turnstile

--the action--

As the curtain opens the standing nurse and the sitting judge are leafing through large loose-leaf binders. The two binders are identical in size and completely filled. Page by page, the nurse and judge leaf, in robotic synchronicity. The nurse will stop leafing through the pages about thirty seconds after the curtain rises. The judge, however, will continue.

Curtain.

Once the nurse and judge have leafed through their binders long enough for their robotic synchronicity to become evident, the nurse stops. The nurse looks down at the page beneath her. She reads it carefully. She opens the binder clamp with a click and removes the page. The nurse turns to Elias Pratt who sits in the "waiting room." Pratt returns the nurse's attention. The nurse dings her chrome calling bell twice ding ding and looks at the stenographer sitting to her right. The stenographer begins "keying" at her machine with exaggerated up and down pantomimes of her hands. The nurse turns again to Pratt. She gestures him to her table. Pratt rises and approaches the nurse's table. Pratt moves toward the table in obvious pain.

Nurse: You have been waiting a long time.

Pratt: Yes, I have.

Nurse: How long have you been waiting?

Pratt: Four and a half minutes.

Nurse: Oh, my.

Together Pratt and the Nurse pause to look at the stenographer, to assure she has recorded this. The stenographer keys at her machine with exaggerated up and down pantomimes of her hands.

Pratt: Yes, but it is okay. My circumstance is rather unique and it is important that I wait a while longer even.

Nurse: Yes?

Pratt: Yes.

Nurse: Must you wait in the waiting room?

Pratt: No. I can wait anywhere. It is just important that I not see the doctor for some time still.

The nurse stiffens. Her body language exhibits sudden unease toward Pratt. Finally she asks,

Nurse: Is it (and she pauses here, giving the following word due significance) complicated?

Pratt: Only for awhile.

Nurse: Would you like to see a judge then?

Pratt: That would be good.

Nurse: Alright. Follow me.

Pratt and the Nurse pause to look at the stenographer, to assure she has recorded this. The stenographer keys at her machine with exaggerated up and down pantomimes of her hands.

The nurse then steps from behind her receiving table. She leads Pratt to the turnstile. One at a time the nurse and Pratt edge through the turnstile awkwardly, Pratt with some pain. As they move through the turnstile, the stenographer stops keying at her machine.

The nurse guides Pratt to the judge's table. The nurse indicates that Pratt take the chair nearest the judge's table. Pratt sits. The judge still turns the pages of her loose-leaf binder robotically. The nurse lays the sheet of paper onto the table next to the judge's loose-leaf binder. The nurse steps away. The nurse edges back through the turnstile awkwardly. The nurse strides back to her side of the receiving table. She sits now. The nurse begins turning the pages in her loose-leaf binder in time with the judge. Just as the nurse picks up the judge's rhythm, after three or so pages, the judge stops turning her pages. The judge picks up the sheet of paper that the nurse left beside her loose-leaf binder. The judge reads the page. The judge dings her chrome calling bell twice ding ding. The stenographer beside the judge begins keying at her machine with exaggerated up and down pantomimes of her hands.

Judge: So, you've been waiting a long time.

Pratt: Yes. Six minutes now.

Judge: Well? Did they forget you? Were you misplaced? Is that why they brought you to me?

Pratt: No. I need to wait. It is important for me to wait.

Judge: But you are bleeding... (She looks down at the sheet of paper) ...Mr. Pratt.

Pratt: Yes.

Judge: What happened?

Pratt: I was attacked by my neighbor's African panther. I was watering the daisies and it leapt out and fanged my kidney. I only narrowly escaped.

Judge: Ah.

Pratt and the Judge pause to look at the stenographer, to assure she has recorded this. The stenographer keys at her machine with exaggerated up and down pantomimes of her hands.

Pratt: My neighbor called off the beast, but it was too late. The panther had tasted blood and wanted more so he attacked my neighbor, too.

The judge nods judiciously.

Judge: Was the panther on a leash?

Pratt: No.

Judge: Ah. (The judge notes this.)

Pratt: That's why I'm waiting. My neighbor should be here soon. You can't miss him. He'll be carrying his head.

The judge nods deliberatively. The judge waits for Pratt to amplify his remarks. When Pratt does not amplify his remarks, the judge says:

Judge: Mr. Pratt, I do not understand exactly why it is necessary that you wait.

Pratt: No?

Judge: No.

Pratt: Well, it's simple...

At this moment a man carrying his own severed head enters from stage right. The man hesitates before the waiting room, but then approaches the nurse directly. The nurse still leafs through the pages of her loose-leaf binder robotically. The nurse continues leafing through the pages even as she looks up from the binder. The nurse is surprised by the interruption. The man points at the head he holds. Then the man points at his headless neck. The nurse stops turning the pages of her loose-leaf binder. The nurse rings her chrome calling bell twice ding ding. The stenographer begins keying at her machine.

The nurse opens her loose-leaf binder with a click. The nurse removes a sheet of paper from the binder. The nurse leads the headless man to the turnstile. Through the turnstile the nurse and the headless man edge awkwardly. The nurse steps then to the imposing safe-like door. She puts her ear against the door. A moment later the nurse pulls open the imposing door and directs the headless man through it. The nurse begins to swing shut the imposing door. A long naked arm, however, suddenly springs out of the door. The arm's hand opens and closes demandingly. The nurse is surprised. But then the nurse realizes she still holds the sheet of paper. The nurse puts the sheet of paper into the opening and closing hand. The hand withdraws. The nurse shuts the imposing safe-like door.

The nurse twists back through the turnstile, awkwardly. The nurse returns to her position behind the receiving table. There, the nurse resumes leafing through the loose-leaf binder robotically. Once the nurse has turned two or three of the binder pages, stenographer one stops keying at her machine. The stenographer lays her hands in her lap. Through this interlude both stenographers have been keying at their machines. In robotic synchronicity, the stenographers have been keying, using the same exaggerated up and down pantomimes of their hands.

The Judge and Pratt observe all this.

Judge: Was that your neighbor?

Pratt: Yes, it was.

Judge: He seems to have lost his head.

Pratt: Yes.

Pratt and the Judge pause to look at the stenographer, to assure she has recorded this. The stenographer keys at her machine with exaggerated up and down pantomimes of her hands.

Judge: Mr. Pratt, do you think you need representation?

Pratt: I've considered it.

The judge rings her bell once. Ding.

A man wearing a fashionable suit and carrying a shiny briefcase enters smartly from stage left. This is the lawyer. Pratt rises slowly, in evident pain. The lawyer descends upon Pratt and shakes his hand vigorously. The lawyer claims Pratt's chair then near the judge. Pratt sits in the second chair, the one away from the judge. Carefully, Pratt sits, his pain visible. The judge and the lawyer and Pratt pause then to look at the stenographer, to assure she has recorded this. The stenographer keys at her machine with exaggerated up and down pantomimes of her hands.

The Lawyer clears his throat.

Lawyer: Hm hmmm. Madam Judge, my client is bleeding. My client is injured. Compensation must be paid! Remuneration is in order!

Judge: Your petition has been heard.

The judge dings her bell twice. Ding Ding. A young woman in a brown blazer and brown skirt enters from stage left, carrying a stenograph and tripod. This is stenographer three. Stenographer three sits in the chair to the left of stenographer two. After arranging her equipment, stenographer three begins keying at her machine in rhythm with stenographer two. The two stenographers exaggeratedly pantomime their hands up and down, in robotic synchronicity.

Lawyer: Madam Judge, may I have a word with my client?

Judge: A private word?

Lawyer: Yes.

Judge: No. It is premature for private consultation. We must hear the statement of the said Mr. Pratt. Mr. Pratt, I want to ask you one question.

Pratt and the Judge and the lawyer pause to look at the stenographers, to assure they have recorded this. The stenographers key at their machines with exaggerated up and down pantomimes of her hands.

Pratt: Yes?

Judge: Mr. Pratt, why do you prefer to wait in the waiting room rather than see a doctor even though you are bleeding profusely?

Lawyer: I object.

Judge: On what grounds?

Lawyer: It is premature to ask questions, Madam judge.

The judge pauses thoughtfully, deliberatively. She jots some notes. She reflects judiciously. Finally, after some time, the judge slowly answers.

Judge: Overruled.

Pratt and the Judge and the lawyer pause to look at the stenographers, to assure they have recorded this. The stenographers key at their machines with exaggerated up and down pantomimes of her hands.

Judge: Mr. Pratt, you may answer my question.

Pratt looks at his bloody hands. Pratt gingerly fingers the bloody shirt over his kidney. Pratt looks to the judge.

Pratt: It is simple.

Lawyer: Go carefully.

Judge: Do not interrupt!

Pratt: If my neighbor sees the doctor first, without knowing I'm here, then he is sure to lie about what happened.

Lawyer: Yes! (The lawyer accompanies this exclamation with a victory pump of his elbow)

Judge: Ah ha! (The judge is impressed.) That is very astute of you.

Lawyer: Yes! (The lawyer accompanies this exclamation with another victory pump of his elbow)

Judge: Do you have documents with you, Mr. Pratt? Evidence?

Pratt smiles self-consciously. He looks down at his bloody hands.

Pratt: I rented a moving van, Madam judge. The proceedings from this afternoon's accident are all filed and intact within the van, sworn and notarized. All affidavits, depositions, blood and urine tests, expert analysis, witness accounts and accidental videos are included.

Lawyer: Yes! (The lawyer accompanies this exclamation with a third victory pump of his elbow)

Judge: Interesting. (She strokes her chin)

The imposing safe-like door now swings open. Pratt's neighbor emerges with his head re-attached. Following Pratt's neighbor is a young man wearing a white coat, stethoscope, and shiny reflective disk strapped to his forehead. This is the doctor. Following the doctor is a young woman in a brown blazer and brown skirt. This is stenographer four. Stenographer four carries a small stool, a stenograph and a tripod. One at a time Pratt's neighbor, the doctor, and stenographer four edge through the turnstile awkwardly. After they have passed through the turnstile, stenographer four arranges her equipment. She sits on her stool before her machine. She begins keying at her machine. Three stenographers now key at their machines simultaneously, all three key with exaggerated up and down pantomimes of their hands, in robotic synchronicity.

The neighbor sees Pratt. The neighbor is visibly shocked.

Lawyer: Yes! (The lawyer is reacting to the neighbor's expression. He accompanies his exclamation with a fourth victory pump of his elbow.)

Judge: Neighbor, unless you told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth to the doctor, I am going to rule against you based on your uncomfortable expression when meeting the aforementioned Mr. Pratt.

The neighbor looks at Pratt, wide-eyed. The neighbor looks at the doctor, wide-eyed. The neighbor looks at stenographer four, wide-eyed. Then all concerned pause to look at one of the stenographers, to assure they have recorded this. The stenographers key at their machines with exaggerated up and down pantomimes of her hands. The neighbor deflates for an instant, in complete defeat. But then the neighbor reddens; he becomes furious. The neighbor lifts his finger and shakes it at Pratt.

Neighbor: You cowardly son of a bitch!

The judge dings her bell three times. Ding. Ding. Ding.

Judge: Compensation and remuneration will be paid to the panther victim by the headless man.

Lawyer: Yes! Another stunning victory! (The lawyer accompanies this exclamation with four victory pumps of his elbow. He emphasizes each word with a victory pump of his elbow.)

The stenographers stop keying at their machines. The stenographers lay their hands in their laps.

The lawyer grips Pratt's hand and shakes it vigorously.

The judge looks down into her loose-leaf binder. The judge gives the case no more thought. She begins leafing the binder's pages in rhythm with the nurse across stage. The nurse has been turning the pages of her binder throughout.

The remaining characters exit all at once. Pratt and the grinning lawyer exit stage left, the lawyer's arm swung over Pratt's shoulder, Pratt stumbling with pain. Stenographer three rises and follows Pratt and the lawyer carrying her stenograph and tripod. Pratt's neighbor struggles through the turnstile awkwardly, angrily, and marches off stage right. The doctor, observing Pratt's exit, stands confused. Once Pratt has departed, however, the doctor shrugs and turns toward the turnstile. He twists through the turnstile awkwardly and steps through the imposing safe-like door. Stenographer four follows the doctor with her stenograph, tripod and stool. The imposing safe-like door swings shut.

Finally the stage has returned to its initial composition--virtually. The judge and the nurse turn again the pages of their loose-leaf binders in robotic synchronicity. The first two stenographers sit again as they did at the beginning of the scene, with their hands in their laps. A moment or two after the action has settled into this familiar tableau--after four or five page-turnings--a new patient enters from stage right. The patient is a man who holds his severed left arm in his right hand. The patient walks into the scene and takes the "waiting room" chair vacated by Pratt at the beginning of the action.

Curtain.

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